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I`m at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.