Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you`re wrong. I`m wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace.
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.