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Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.