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You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
I find it ironic that it takes 12 steps to get a beer out of my fridge.
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
i feel naked without my mobile !
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
heyy lol
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100