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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
Love is a two way street but you have to be careful because women can’t drive.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.