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I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you`re wasting everybody’s time.
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.
The existence of the `snooze` button tells you everything you ever need to know about the human race.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.