Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
Did the Energizer Bunny finally stop going and going, and none of us even noticed it?
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis