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If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
I ate gummy bears and didn`t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I`m an adult now.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
The police never think its as funny as you do.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."