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After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
My ex-wife once left a note on the fridge: "It`s not working. I can`t take it anymore. Gone to stay with Friends." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. Not sure what she was talking about!
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about