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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.