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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Everyday Iām shoveling. ā Winter 2014
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
I stopped watching the History Channel because it`s so outdated.
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?