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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don`t know what I`m gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It`s a mystery
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.