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I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
My relationship is like an iPhone, I don`t have an iPhone.
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.