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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.