Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I like you, I’ll let you hold the TV remote when we watch TV. If I love you, I won’t take the batteries out of it beforehand.
Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
is in no shape to exercise
I look so young for my rage.
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.