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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.