Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
that akward moment when you finish doing your thing in the toilet and you realise there is no tissue
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.