Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we`re married & live together so I`d have to see them every day.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
there is no strong beer, only weak men
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?