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I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like I’d be pretty good at that.
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
awesome collection!
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!