Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.