Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.
Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
Sign in a grocery store: Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.