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I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact.
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.