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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
Get off your high horse. Seriously, it’s not safe to ride any animal that’s stoned.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.