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I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.