Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.