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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
Dear Alcohol, Will you be my valentine? ?
You know what’s funny? Lot’s of sh!t. Loosen up already.
DonΒ΄t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
I don`t think stupid people understand how much effort goes into not punching them in the face
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.