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Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.