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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said `This dumbass put my cape on backwards.`
I like the part of the day when food happens.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
I have off-road rage, too
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.
"What did you do today?" "I text messaged." :)
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny, AND thin ... It`s a public service really.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
These kids next door to me need to quit yelling. I`m about to wake up their mom and send her back over there.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
I know you shouldn`t text and drive but I`ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.