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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
The only problem with using the treadmill is that you can`t run from your own farts.
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.