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The only Spanish phrase you need to learn is, "I know you guys are talkin sh*t about me."
"You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."