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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I’m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Own the day
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
Dear McDonalds cashier, Don`t give me that look, there`s no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don`t forget the toy b!tch.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.