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If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors, and photographs.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happened to me, only with beer.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.