Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Note to self: It`s time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note: Shut the f*ck up.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.