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I`m 28 years old, but in marriage years, I`m dead on the inside.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
Sometimes my kid likes me, but I`m pretty sure it`s only because I`m his Oreo dealer.
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.