Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
If I had a time machine, I would just keep going back to bed.
Marriage is like friends without benefits.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
I kinda dig you, want to hang out and stuff until we hate each other?
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"