Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
If I was a cab driver I`d yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.