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Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
Not so great minds also think alike.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isnβt doing his part of the chores around here.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying