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Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered...WAS I drunk the whole time?
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.