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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yourself.”
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....