Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most problems can be solved with nudity
Fun Fact: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.