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I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
Sorry, I didn`t get your text...Just kidding, I ignored that sh!t.
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.