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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and It’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
Long story short, I love summaries
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
morning i hate girls evening i need girls
Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. I did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. I did nothing for 25 hours!