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Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I`ll catch the next one. She`s mad at me now.
I`m so deep in the friendzone that I`ve met her boyfriends parents