Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t always play candy crush. But when I do, I have tourettes like a motherf*cker.
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
I can´t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.