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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
I drink to make other people interesting.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.