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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
I realized my superpower.. I can walk into ANY bathroom.. And the toilet paper roll will be empty..
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
The fact that I start clapping every time someone says "Please give me a hand" is only like the number 6 reason I dont have friends.
Hello? HP? Iād like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.