Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...
I’ve found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore.
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.