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Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
Loneliness is when your sleeve unrolls itself while washing dishes and you try to roll it back up with your face.
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.