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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
Einstein was wrong. The real definition of insanity is trying to clean your house when you have children.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...