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I wish more people were fluent in silence.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
Quite honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have even pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
It`s my birthday. I’m not just a year older, I’m also a year better and prettier ... I know your jealous ;)
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?