Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Sometimes, just to annoy my Therapist, I’ll ask him; “so how does my lack of progress make you feel?”
Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)