Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I`m now being asked to audition for Riverdance.
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.