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I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Getting my kids to the airport always feels like I`m recreating the first 10 minutes of "Home Alone."
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen