Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
My dog`s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I`d like it to be.
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.