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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!