Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
I`m never free but I`m available.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.
Just spent a week building a time machine. That’s seven days of my life I’m going to get back.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…