Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
I don’t understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I’d stay at home with the wife.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."