Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
Sex, do it for the kids.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.