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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
I hope daylight savings time doesnt throw me off my schedule of doing nothing.