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One trenta cheeseburger please.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
GAL: Would you keep me in your heart forever? BOY: Nop! GAL: (sadly)...why? BOY: Because then you`ll occupy only one part of me...but i`ll keep you in my heart, mind & let you complete me.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
Thanks to yesterday`s chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.