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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
I know u r but what am I ?
I don’t understand decaf coffee. It’s like sex without the sex.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
Back in my day we had 9 planets.
Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....