Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I don`t mind that my wife goes out to play bingo every night. It`s the coming back home part that bothers me.
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.