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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
If others are jealous, youβre doing something right.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
Didn`t win the lotto again ... send prayers.
is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Saying "think outside the box" is a pretty inside the box suggestion.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.