Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
is a mystery you´ll never solve
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
It’s not pretty being easy.