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The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
I always keep a Mexican restaurant on speed dial in queso emergency.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
My boss told me "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.