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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
My number was 0...