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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
there is a big difference between spray tanned and looking like you rolled in nacho chesse doritos.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.