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I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure