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Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Not that I expect 100% truth in advertising, but shouldn’t those women in the tampon commercials be wielding chainsaws and burning stuff down, not laughing and dancing?
Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.