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Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.