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Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don`t cut it.