Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out.