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I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.