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You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
Ways to die: Steal my food.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
We all make mistakes .... I just do it better than everyone else.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I don’t understand decaf coffee. It’s like sex without the sex.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
I just made an emergency survival kit. You know, for emergencies. It looks like all my other kits, but don`t be fooled; this one is red and has more liquor.