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I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
I finally finished my 4,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)