Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
You know you`re an alcoholic when the only Holiday cards that you get are from your neighborhood pubs.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.