Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`.... I`ll turn around and look.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.